WEEKEND NUMBERS

30th November
1. Four Christmases
$46,710,000
2. Twilight $39,522,000
3. Bolt $36,000,000

No surprises here. Baz Lurman’s $130 million dollar epic ‘Australia took 5th place with a paltry $20 mil. Ouch! Guess that’s what you get for trying to make Titanic without the boat! ‘Transporter 3′ came in 7th place with $18.5 in the till – and Jason Statham once again proved he’s the reigning king of low budget action movies (Daredevil reboot?) – either way, we’ll probably see Frank Martin and his indestructible Audi at least one more time – Blockbuster DVD exclusive perhaps?

THIS IS OUR PRESIDENT-ELECT

26th November

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/26/obama-familys-thanksgivin_n_146725.html

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM AGENT ZERO!

26th November


“Well now I’m definitely not gonna kill ya!”

THE PRESS – GATES ONE CHANGE ZERO, FOX CALLS THE WAR, BABY LOVES POISON

25th November

Obama is keeping GWB throwback Robert Gates as Defense Secretary.
Still waitin’ on that change buddy boy.


“Always somethin’ there to remind me.”

Fox News is reporting that America has officially won the war in Iraq (depending on who you talk to). Cel-e-brate good times c’mon!

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2008/11/25/obamas-plan-withdraw-troops-iraq-faces-skepticism/



“F*ck it. We’ll do it live!”

Did you know that most top-selling baby formulas are imported from China? Well did you know that scientists have recently discovered low level traces of the industrial chemical Melamine within samples of those top-selling baby formulas? Well now you know.


“That’s alright. She just needs some Tussin!”

THE WATERCOOLER – KANYEEZY’S NEW GROOVE, EMINEM COMES FIRST, FREE FUGEES

25th November

Kanyeezy’s new album,
808’s & Heartbreak
is poised to break records despite some haterific reviews.

http://whoisagentzero.com/2008/11/25/sir-astyn-martyn-music-review—kanye-west—808s—heartbreak.aspx
Predictions have it at half a million copies sold since yesterday morning’s release.


“My best side? You’re playin’ right?


Dr. Dre’s long-awaited magnum opus ‘Detox’ will not be arriving in stores anytime soon. The release is being pushed so the heralded producer can pay special attention to Eminem’s latest effort.


“Admit it Dre. There is no Detox is there.”

Remember John Forte? No? Well, he was once a part-time member of 90’s supergroup “The Fugees.” The bad news – he was arrested in 2000 at Newark International Airport with two briefcases filled with liquid cocaine, estimated to be worth $1.4 million. The good news – Lucky John had his sentence commuted Monday by President George W. Bush and his pardon-happy pen. Congratu-la-la-la!


“Damn, Judge! 14 years for this?”

Sir Astyn Martyn Music Review – Kanye West – 808’s & Heartbreak

25th November


Kanye West
808’s & Heartbreak


First I would like to say that it has been quite a while since I wrote my last review (The Game). Not much has impressed me since then with the exception of Ne-Yo and Beyonce whose music I love equally.

Thank God for I-Tunes. I sampled Kanye’s latest effort and quite frankly I was only feeling a few tracks. “Say You Will”, a track you can mellow out to alone or with your girl/man. “Paranoid” a track that seems to be a good dance track and “Coldest Winter” another track to mellow out to.

Supposedly, there was a reason why he jumped on the auto-tune bandwagon and a whole album with it definitely doesn’t work with me. Even T-Pain stated that it’s time for everybody to get off of the auto-tune bandwagon. Pretty soon, every artist will be using it and end up putting T-Pain out of a job. Did you guys here Lil’ Kim using auto-tune? Basically Kanye’s album is right up your alley if you like T-Pain.

Definitely look out for my upcoming reviews on Keyshia Cole, Brandy and a few of other artists hitting stores in December.


Sir Astyn Martyn in the year 3000

REEL ISH – BLOOD’S TOO RICH FOR ME, THE CRAZY RDJ IS BACK, TERMINATOR DOPENESS

25th November

The weepy emo-vampires from Twilight just upped their quotes from 2 mil to 12 mil a piece. Meanwhile, back in the real world, you just lost your job. Yeah that’s fair.


One thing about working at Hot Topic I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.

Robert Downey Jr. thinks The Avengers movie might suck hard due to a lack of realism. This despite recently cashing some hefty checks for playing a billionaire playboy who flies around in a metal suit.
“The dangeryou run with colliding all these world is [director], Jon [Favreau] was very certain that ‘Iron Man’ should be set in a very realistic world. Nothing that happened in Iron Man is really outside the realm of possibility. Once you start talking abou Valhalla and supersized super soldiers and jolly green giants in warrants much further discussion.”

Realm of possibility? How many genius billionaire playboy arms dealers do you know? The US military can’t even build a working jet pack and he’s concerned about realism? Pretentious little prick.


“Costume? What costume?”

Witness the dope new Terminator Salvation poster. The future is here!
Sh*t! According to Sarah Connor – that’s a bad thing.

http://www.sonypictures.net/movies/terminatorsalvation/poster.html

“Say it!”

“Fine! Terminator 3 was a cash grab, ok? Now let me up!

GOOD NIGHT AIDA YESPICA, WHEREVER YOU ARE!

25th November

AGENT ZERO’S RESPONSE TO SIR ASTYN MARTYN’S REVIEW OF 808′S & HEARTBREAK

25th November

WAKE UP MR. MARTYN!

YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART WITH THAT REVIEW!

First of all, 808’s is a quantum leap from his previous mainstream release, 2007’s Graduation.

Bursting with raw emotion and juxtaposed against a cold, electronic backdrop – Kanye delivers his most audacious, most mature effort to date. Be aware – this is not a rap album! This is Mr. West’s version of pop music. His Thriller, if you will. And while I can’t say that every single track is successful, the overall concept is nothing short of brilliant.

As most of you know, it was an emotionally distressful year for Kanye West, marked by the end of a seven year relationship with his girlfriend and the passing of his mother – not to mention a relentless international touring schedule and several run-ins with paparazzi and police.

West translates his tragedy into a musical journey – opening with the deathbed denial of Say You Will, a hazy recollection of missed opportunities despite a love gone down in flames. Anger and resentment begin to surface with Welcome To Heartbreak and Heartless, where misguided rage and finger-pointing come easy for an egocentric superstar. Emotional walls surround West in Amazing and Love Lockdown’s methodical timpani evokes somber introspection. The playful Robocop deals with mutual mistrust in the final stages of a turbulent relationship. The storm clouds lift momentarily with the bouncy Paranoid – followed up by the measured tread of Street Lights, where West searches desperately for hope and enlightenment in the aftermath of painful reflection.

Street lights glowing/ Happen to be just like moments passing in front of me/
So I hopped in a cab and I paid my fare/ See I know my destination but I’m just not there

Bittersweet acceptance comes in the form of Coldest Winter, where he bids a final farewell to his mother, but questions whether he will ever truly love again. For a finale, West confronts himself – a long, hard look in the mirror with Pinocchio Story, which crescendos with West ultimately breaking down during a live performance. To the album’s credit, the production has minimal dependence on samples and cameos – the current mainstay of hip-hop. West’s confession is intimacy incarnate – just the Roland TR-808 and emotional scars laid bare.

808’s is also an important lesson in creative development. You have to respect an artist who steps out of their comfort zone and into the hostile territory of “something new” – a precarious road that mainstream musicians (especially R&B/Hip-Hop artists) are reluctant (and sometimes fearful) to explore. To paraphrase Kanye: “Music used to be about being fearless and standing out, now it’s only about being afraid and fitting in.”

I implore people to look beyond the ‘auto-tune’ criticisms (and the lack of actual rapping) so as to allow yourself to experience this masterpiece on your own terms. Note: This is a personal album – so at least for the initial listening, treat it as so – solitude, headphones, candles and most importantly – an open mind. As Bruce Lee once posited, Don’t think. FEEL. It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.”


Agent Zero signing off.


LOOK – AT – ME!!!

23rd November



The Oscars are right around the corner and many of us are hoping for several (well-deserved) nods for Christopher Nolan’s superhero crime epic The Dark Knight, including a posthumous nomination for Heath Ledger’s nightmarish turn as “The Clown Prince of Crime.

That said, the Academy has let us down before.

So in hopes of finding favor with voters, the film has been set for a January re-release. But with several heavily-buzzed dramas coming down the pike, why do TDK’s chances for Oscar gold seem to be getting slimmer by the bat-minute?

It begs the question: why are genre films held to such a higher standard than their dramatic counterparts? And if a genre film is able to hit all of the requisite marks – writing, direction, performances, cinematography, music  – and execute them more skillfully than their dramatic competitors – why are they still considered long shots? You may remember that two years ago, Martin Scorsese’s The Departed, a remake of the 2002 Hong Kong crime thriller Infernal Affairs, took top honors. A first-class effort without question, but in hindsight, was it all that more deserving of “Best Picture” glory? In my humble opinion, the answer is hells no.

Regardless of what may come, there weren’t many films this year that managed to stir such juvenescent excitement from the movie-going public on whole – while at the same time garnering resounding acclaim from the staunchest of critics – and only one that made us truly fear a world without rules. Let’s hope they get it right this time.