THE ZERO EFFECT

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Twilight is opening this weekend behind a ton of box office buzz.

More proof that teenage girls are dumb as rocks.

“I’m a star now b*tch. Stop holding me back!”

The newest installment of the James Bond series, Quantum of Solace,

didn’t make as much money as first reported. So instead of 70 mil it was more like 68 mil.

Guess that means it was bad.

Guess that means you don’t want to see it.

Guess that means there won’t be another one.

“The news left us shaken, but not stirred.”

Guess who has been tapped to pen a new X-Men movie for Fox?

Gossip Girl creator Josh Schwartz naturally!

Perhaps there’s a mutant High School Musical in our futures?

Will Professor X finally come out of the closet?

“Careful Angel, hell hath no fury like a Wanda Maximoff scorned.“

hats

I’m Agent Zero! I make my comebacks when I feel like it!

“Now…we’re a boy band.”

“Merry Christmas…You naughty m*thafukas!
THIS IS YOUR YEAR! (Chuckle)

What the hell are you people thinking? No noms for The Dark Knight except for your little pity one for Heath Ledger? Keep it you fruity European bastards! We’ll see you at the real Awards show!

Here’s the list:

Best Motion Picture – Drama
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie – Changeling
Meryl Streep – Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas – I’ve Loved You So Long (Il Y A Longtemps Que Je T’Aime)
Kate Winslet – Revolutionary Road

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Leonardo Dicaprio – Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella – Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn – Milk
Brad Pitt – The Curious Case of Benjamin BUtton
Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler

Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Burn After Reading
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Rebecca Hall – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins – Happy-Go-Lucky
Frances McDorman – Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep – Mamma Mia!
Emma Thompson – Last Chance Harvey

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Javier Bardem – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell – In Bruges
James Franco – Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson – In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman – Last Chance Harvey

Best Animated Film
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
Wall-E

Best Foreign Language Film
The Baader Meinhof Complex
Everlasting Moments
Gomorrah
I’ve Loved You so Long
Waltz with Bashir

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams – Doubt
Penelope Cruz – Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis – Doubt
Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler
Kate Winslet – The Reader

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Tom Cruise – Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes – The Duchess
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Doubt
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight

Best Director – Motion Picture
Danny Boyle – Slumdog Millionaire
Stephen Daldry – The Reader
David Fincher – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard – Frost/Nixon
Sam Mendes – Revolutionary Road

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Simon Beaufoy – Slumdog Millionaire
David Hare – The Reader
Peter Morgan – Frost/Nixon
Eric Roth – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
John Patrick Shanley – Doubt

Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Alexandre Desplat – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Clint Eastwood – Changeling
James Newton Howard – Defiance
A. R. Rahman – Slumdog Millionaire
Hans Zimmer – Frost/Nixon

Best Original Song – Motion Picture
“Down to Earth” – Wall-E
“Gran Torino” – Gran Torino
“I Thought I Lost You” – Bolt
“Once in a Lifetime” – Cadillac Records
“The Wrestler” – The Wrestler

Obama is keeping GWB throwback Robert Gates as Defense Secretary.
Still waitin’ on that change buddy boy.

“Always somethin’ there to remind me.”

Fox News is reporting that America has officially won the war in Iraq (depending on who you talk to). Cel-e-brate good times c’mon!

“F*ck it. We’ll do it live!”

Did you know that most top-selling baby formulas are imported from China? Well did you know that scientists have recently discovered low level traces of the industrial chemical Melamine within samples of those top-selling baby formulas? Well now you know.

“That’s alright. She just needs some Tussin!”

Kanyeezy’s new album,
808’s & Heartbreak is poised to break records despite some haterific reviews.

http://whoisagentzero.com/2008/11/25/sir-astyn-martyn-music-review—kanye-west—808s—heartbreak.aspx
Predictions have it at half a million copies sold since yesterday morning’s release.

“My best side? You’re playin’ right?


Dr. Dre’s long-awaited magnum opus ‘Detox’ will not be arriving in stores anytime soon. The release is being pushed so the heralded producer can pay special attention to Eminem’s latest effort.

“Admit it Dre. There is no Detox is there.”

Remember John Forte? No? Well, he was once a part-time member of 90’s supergroup “The Fugees.” The bad news – he was arrested in 2000 at Newark International Airport with two briefcases filled with liquid cocaine, estimated to be worth $1.4 million. The good news – Lucky John had his sentence commuted Monday by President George W. Bush and his pardon-happy pen. Congratu-la-la-la!


“Damn, Judge! 14 years for this?”

The weepy emo-vampires from Twilight just upped their quotes from 2 mil to 12 mil a piece. Meanwhile, back in the real world, you just lost your job. Yeah that’s fair.

“One thing about working at Hot Topic I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.“

Robert Downey Jr. thinks The Avengers movie might suck hard due to a lack of realism. This despite recently cashing some hefty checks for playing a billionaire playboy who flies around in a metal suit.
“The dangeryou run with colliding all these world is [director], Jon [Favreau] was very certain that ‘Iron Man’ should be set in a very realistic world. Nothing that happened in Iron Man is really outside the realm of possibility. Once you start talking abou Valhalla and supersized super soldiers and jolly green giants in warrants much further discussion.”

Realm of possibility? How many genius billionaire playboy arms dealers do you know? The US military can’t even build a working jet pack and he’s concerned about realism? Pretentious little prick.

“Costume? What costume?”

Witness the dope new Terminator Salvation poster. The future is here!
Sh*t! According to Sarah Connor – that’s a bad thing.

“Say it!”

“Fine! Terminator 3 was a cash grab, ok? Now let me up!

The numbers are in and Summit Entertainment’s tweenie-vampire romance flick, Twilight, has crushed the competition by ringing up an impressive 70.5 million. Summit plans to strike while the iron is hot – announcing preparations for an upcoming sequel titled New Moon, the second installment of Stephanie Meyer’s ‘Twilight’ series.

Taking the second place spot is last week’s number one, Quantum of Solace, raking in an additional 27 million to bring its worldwide total to $417,983,000 in just ten days. Nobody does it better!